Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Little things

Well nearly wordless anyway...

Little things I'm loving at the moment...

Winter friends
Making and eating winter soups
Roasting seeds
Indoor activities
Notebook with my photo printed on it
Indoor flowers
Sunday pancakes
 Rainbows
 Happy Wordless!




Sunday, 27 January 2013

Preschool and my hurting heart

My baby started preschool a couple of weeks ago. It's only afternoons and it's really good for him.  Long before he started everyone kept asking me when it was that he was starting? And every time my stomach would tighten. I didn't want to think about it. He was starting a lot earlier than his brother did and to me he seems too small. He is behind in a couple of things, he doesn't talk too well, potty training is not going well...etc

He seems too small. 
For the last 5 years I haven't had anytime in a week day without a little person to take care of. The thought of every afternoon alone suddenly seemed too big. Would he be okay without me?

Would I be okay without him...

On his first day I took him in the classroom, hung up his coat and bag, gave his name label to the teacher and kissed him goodbye. Just like his brother before him he brushed my kisses away and quickly ran off to play with the toys. Neither of my boys have ever been clingy or nervous. People tell me its a good thing they are so confident.  I know that it is. It would be horrible to have to pry them off me and walk away leaving them crying. Regardless walking away that first day hurt my heart so bad. Walking back through the woods alone it felt like I was missing something. 

Something important...
Once you have children you get a lot of these hurting moments. Bittersweet important moments. So when I arrived home the house felt so empty and quiet. I felt like I was tip toeing around. I felt like my heart was walking around out there without me. I felt lost.

My house was missing someone...


I rang my mum and immediately burst into tears. She told me she felt exactly the same way the day I started school. That it wasn't so bad with my brother because she still had me at home to take care of. But taking me to school and walking back alone had just about broken her heart. She then told me to do something nice, (not housework!) something just for me. Something I normally don't have much time to do with two boys constantly demanding my attention. She said that this was my time now too. Time that I haven't had for so long.

Change is good even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.

So I did. I had a cup of tea, I played on photoshop and wrote my first blog post in a long time. Before I knew it, it was time to pick him up again and I was giddy to see him. When I got there he was clearly happy and he ran towards me saying 'Mummys here!'
He does this face to make me laugh. It cracks me up everytime...
He hasn't been going there long but he is talking better already. Like a lot better. He likes it and having a bit of time to get things done without interruptions in the afternoons means more quality time with him in the mornings.

So I still have him to myself for a little bit longer.
Hey boys stop growing up so quickly! Mummy can't take it...

Thursday, 24 January 2013

Snow day awesomeness

The day after Hubby came back from Italy (on a 24 hour bus trip with a coach load of school/teenager type children *shudder*) he was supposed to go back to work. With there being snow on the ground we quietly hoped for some more snow. Mainly so his school would be shut and he could relax and catch up on sleep.

I'm telling you, me and the weather gods are now BFFs because once again they totally delivered...
And we had ourselves a snow day people!
So first thing I did once Hubby got up (and after tea obviously) was go for a little walk to take photos.

Alone.

Because I hadn't been alone without two boys since Tim left for his ski trip a week ago. It was needed and also felt like walking into Narnia minus a wardrobe of fur coats...

So I'll be quiet and let you take the walk with me...








*Sigh* that's better...

Once I got back, before I could even take off my Wellies, everybody was desperate to go sledging. 
Well it is a snow day after all...
*psst* I so have my PJ's on under my trousers here because I was so impatient to go out. It came in handy when I couldn't be bothered to get ready for bed later...


 A favourite spot...
 They all piled on..
Remember last year when no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get moving...

Well this year I had no problems...

Bricking it...
 *Ahem* I totally meant to do that...
I find black and white makes me look less tired and scary this time of the morning. School children were seen to be running from me, just saying.

In fact this time it was hubby's turn to get stuck...

Isaac had to take matters into his own hands...




And hubby the clever man said 'Boys look at this'...
 *sigh*

 And Lucas was all 'Um I'm stuck'...
It took a while to walk back because everything, I mean EVERYTHING looked photo worthy...


 The thing that finally got me going was the promise of this...
 Oh yes it was as good as it looks...
Later that afternoon Hubby declared he was going to make a better Snowman than my mini doesn't reach your knees Snowman.

Charming. 
 Okay it may be bigger but I'm not convinced it's better.
So Hubby proceeded to make a Snowdog as well to ensure his 
eternal greatness as best Snowman builder...

Which I have to admit...

is so stinking cute.
Doesn't that just kill you?

Best snow day ever...

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Change is good..

Last week Hubby was away in Italy taking his school children on a ski trip. He does this every year and he absolutely loves it. It is essentially a free ski holiday for him as the children are with instructors for most of the day. As I said he loves it and I love that he loves it but truthfully it always really sucks for me. Actually I think this week is always cursed. Everything a that can go wrong does go wrong. Remember my war with the domestic appliances? Well this year the heating wasn't working correctly again (the snow is just too much for it) and Lucas had a tummy bug. This brought with it constant poop (like more than anyone has ever seen in their life ever) and very little sleep. I will say again single parents deserve an award or something. Seriously can someone get on that? It is so so hard when you can't turn to the person laying next to you and say can you help me I'm just so tired. Or bounce off your irrational worries, like shall I call the doctor or am I freaking over nothing?...

Do I want Tim to stop going on his beloved ski trip? No I do not. He loves it, just like Rugby every frigging Saturday, it makes him happy. I have never been away from the boys that long before but I know that if I wanted to he would say yes in a heartbeat. If I want to take an art class. Sure no problem. It's give and take. Plus when he is away I find out what I am made off as a mummy. Halfway through the week while the house is falling down I think this is just too hard for one person to handle. Then suddenly it's the end of the week and there I am holding up that house with my own bare hands! No problem. 

And for once I didn't burn or destroy any food. 

That's progress right there...

Plus it snowed and I'm Snow's no.1 fan...
I totally love this wall clock my mum gave me for the garden.

So we got through the week by playing in that snow as much as possible...
Well they played and I took pictures...
Yay purple Wellies!
I made a snowman, don't get excited it doesn't even reach my knee... 
In my defence It was really really cold!

We made more mess than I thought humanly possible.

I cleared it up...

And we made it again. And by 'we' I mean 'them'!
We played from the minute we woke up (at 6am without fail!) to the minute we fell asleep. Seriously where do they get their energy from?
I cooked!

No really I did!
Actually I really enjoyed it and have resolved to do more despite the cooking genius that is my husband being in charge of the kitchen.

And just in case we hadn't made quite enough mess we did some 'making' with glue and all sorts of stuff...
These served as superhero masks, diving and masquerade masks all in one. Now why hasn't that been invented before?
We made cards for Nana who had the Flu...
We made new friends...
And we made gifts for Daddy. I'm sure he will find many uses for them...
Mostly we waited for Daddy to return...

We literally counted the sleeps until...
One day there he was...
YAAAAAAY!
We had missed him so much!
He also brought gifts...
yum...
And new felt tips for the boys which can I just say, the carpet and soft cushions are particularly grateful for...
Change, even difficult change, wakes you up and gets you moving. It shows you what you are made of.

Change is good...

I feel ready to conquer the world.

Well after I pick up all the frigging Lego again...