Tuesday, 17 September 2013

4th Birthday...

I have lots to tell you, things like:

That we went to the zoo recently so I desperately want to overload your eyeballs with pictures of cute animals...

That Isaac mysteriously lost the number 8, i'll explain later...

That me and Tim are competing to see who caves first and puts the heating on now that the weather outside is Autumnal. I can't stand being cold but i'm determined to win. I probably won't though as I spend more time in the house and I'm freezing. Right now I'm wearing 2 jumpers and Tim's hoodie and I'm still cold...

That my tummy has turned against me and decided it can no longer tolerate fat of any kind. So I have to have an abdominal scan today to check my Gall bladder. This means I have been daydreaming of sticking my face in a bowl full of melted cheese for about two weeks...

This also means I am not allowed to eat today until my scan this evening...

Therefore i'm already STARVING!

But all of this craziness must wait because yesterday my baby turned 4 years old!



Seriously when did that happen?

I snuck in his room Sunday night while he was sleep and filled his room with balloons...
In the morning it all about the presents...

 New birthday outfit!

He had a party with some friends...
One of my friends made the cake, isn't she talented?
 Lucas was so excited when he saw it!


You know when you are out at a party and you do something crazy... 
Only to regret it the next morning...

Or in our case the next bath time when it doesn't come off...

not even a bit...

We've all been there, right?

Happy Birthday Lucas x

Now if I could eat some cheese and put the heating on...

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Day at a butterfly farm


Well nearly wordless anyway...

(Excuse my photos. It was so hot in there my lens kept fogging up)

Hello little buddies...

Happy Wordless

Monday, 9 September 2013

Back to school...

So last week they started back at school. Isaac into Year One and Lucas from afternoons to mornings in Preschool. They couldn't have been more excited with Isaac pleading 'Mummy can't we go to school early because I just can't wait!' 

It didn't hurt like last year but somehow it always feels a little bittersweet...
I get excited just like I did as a child about the fresh start, the new clothes and accessories. It marks a change not only in season but in development. Especially as they look so proud and grown up in their new attire...

But I also feel that tug. You mamas know the one. The tug that comes...

Because this time last year was seconds ago...

Because they keep growing up every year, every day, every damn second...

And you want to stop time a little...or a lot...
But before you know it, that feeling passes quickly too. And normalcy takes it's place:

Three days in Lucas is getting a cold...

And Isaac keeps forgetting to hand in his milk money...

And I keep wondering where the morning went when I had planned to get so much done...
Happy September!

Saturday, 7 September 2013

Day Trip in Switzerland...

Clearly September has announced it's arrival. The brand new school uniforms, shoes and bags are piled neatly.  The evenings are cooler and darker. Pinterest is full of Autumnal scenes...

And this morning I awoke to the sound of the rain outside my window. I leaned out to get closer and smelled delightful fresh air. Does anyone else routinely smell the morning outside? Tim thinks it's weird but I've done it for as long as I can remember.

Anyway I think i'm kind of ready for the change in season because summer gave us a good show this year. That said I can't quite seem to finish telling the Switzerland story.

So while I prepare to embrace autumn and all it's glory, let me, just this one last time, bask in the warm sun of the summer and tell you about a certain day trip.

It was one of those days where we were tired and didn't want to do anything big. Tim suggested we drive to a nearby town called Brig and just walk around exploring. He described it to be similar in size to Wolverhampton. Which kind of put me off because Wolverhampton is kind of depressing.

And with expectations being low we set off...

It was no Wolverhampton...

It was freaking beautiful...
With a stunning park...

And unusual things to discover around every corner...




*sigh* 

Okay i'm done now...

Lets get our Autumn on!

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Little things I love about Switzerland...

Well nearly wordless anyway...

Little things I loved about Switzerland...


The way they make things beautiful...

The natural beauty all around...
The mountains...
Especially this one...

This view from our bedroom window...
Having time to read or draw...
Cooking sausages on an open fire...
The freaking amazing sunsets...
*Sigh* and a million more things in between...

Sunday, 1 September 2013

Fear of heights and up a mountain...

To this day I completely blame my husband for my vertigo problem. I know for a fact that it started right here on this particular day. Previously to this day I had a normal I would say healthy amount of caution when up somewhere high. Since that day I have been completely terrified of heights. Now if you add two little wild things called my children near those same heights my vertigo for myself and them is quadrupled to the point that I can't see straight.

Where we stay in Switzerland everything and I mean everything is high and seems to be on a steep crazy ass angle. In fact the village itself is half way up the mountains, itself higher than any mountain in Britain. Even the road up to the village is terrifying.

Some days we are literally living in the clouds and higher than the birds flying by...
This isn't our Chalet but I kind of wish I lived there!

Everywhere we go involves death boxes cable cars and steep paths...



Needless to say despite finding beauty everywhere, I was tense a lot.

It annoys me that I'm now afraid of heights. Because I have stood on the tops of mountains before and it is the best. feeling. ever. It seems like this fear takes over me without my permission. Like it is something separate from me that happens to me rather than within me.

So when Tim's parents arrived towards the end of our holiday and offered to look after the boys for the day I suggested to Tim we go up Wannihorn.

Did I really do that voluntarily?

Admittedly it is a mountain that I have already climbed but it was before my fear of heights came to stay.

But still I was myself surprised when the words came out of my mouth. I think I was hoping that without the boys there to worry about, I could conquer my fear.

It started off well as it is a beautiful route with stunning views...

And very early on I thought hey I'm doing great! Maybe I'm over it...

Nope my mistake, it's still there...

Came round the corner and was like holy crap...

Ground moving, legs wobbling...

So beautiful but can't shake the feeling i'm going to just roll down the mountain like a bouncy ball...

I Keep wondering what on earth possessed me to suggest a trip up the mountain. What was I thinking?!

But we keep going one step after another...

At one point I make the mistake of sitting down to take a picture. 

Never sit down. Getting up is so much harder once you have sat down and really looked at where you are.

But luckily I did get up and the route, as I remembered it would, got better. 

After that it was more about my body reminding me just how out of shape I am. Again I ask myself who's idea was this?

Then I started thinking of you guys. And how I really wanted to show you what I was doing despite being afraid. So I edged out onto a rock and told Tim to take a picture.

He said really?! And I was like 'yes really! Now take it before I loose my nerve!'

I try to look cool about my situation, like its no big deal that I could plummet to my death at any moment...

So don't say I never give you anything, this shot is for you...

It doesn't look so much in this photo but there are sheer drops to the side of me. And in my head I was much closer to the edge.

We keep going and I spy the top (just by the lower sun flare circle) and I tell Tim that it doesn't look that far. He chuckles and says it's further than it looks...
Oh okay...

And it was. But before long we have to scramble and climb our way to the top. You have to be careful where you put your feet but I don't find this as scary. I pretend that I am fearless and can climb like Melina who doesn't know me but who's blog I love. It helps me climb further.

We see a young ibex on the way who makes it look easy...

We didn't bring enough water for the both of us and I can feel it. It's hot and the final push to the top hurts.

But as always once we get to the top I feel amazing. Like I can do anything. The pain is immediately forgotten.

So I gingerly climb onto the very top rock to document this moment. I could lie down and look over the other side which is a sheer drop to the valley below. But that makes me dizzy so I stay where I am.
The journey down is difficult in a different way. We take an easier quicker route which doesn't induce as much vertigo. But we are feeling the lack of water and the pain in our shins from the downward steep path. I can tell I have many blisters. I dream about my first drink of cool water when we get down. I imagine how good it will feel and it keeps me going.

Once we reach the bottom all the pain very quickly disappears again and we feel awesome.

Later that day Tim's dad asks me how I did with the heights. I tell him that yep they were there and at times I really felt it. But I feel proud of myself despite not curing my phobia.

I know I'm still afraid of heights and I can't imagine re-trying that route that brought me to my knees all those years ago.

But maybe one day...

****

I have tried to hide my fear from the boys not wanting pass it onto them. But it was hard to hide it when I was so tense about where they could stand while up high. One day while we were driving on a single track road right on the edge of the mountain Isaac said. 'Mummy you are scared of being high aren't you?'

Damn it I thought he knows. Probably my hands gripping the seat gave me away...

So I said 'yes I am scared but I go up high anyway. It's okay to be scared but imagine how much I would miss out if I let that stop me doing fun things?'

He seems to take this in.

This is either going to teach him a valuable lesson about owning your fear and moving forward anyway or...

...it's going to encourage him to become some crazy daredevil always taking risks and jumping off high buildings...

But let's not dwell on that because it gives me palpitations...

****

So I will keep going up high because I am in love with the mountains. Well it's more of a love/hate relationship but i'm willing to work on it.