Bend it like Beckham

Here's a play by play of a recent one on one match in our back garden...

Me: 'Hey Isaac you wanna play football with mummy?'

Isaac: 'Yes...I use my stick yes?'

Me: 'Well I think we are supposed to just use a football'

Isaac: 'I use my stick!'

Me: okay

 Isaac: 'here I go...'

Isaac: 'ooh my wellies...'
Me: *sigh*

He's finally ready and realised the ineffectiveness of the stick...
Ready Steady...

He shoots, he scores! Perfect kick right in mummies direction!
Mummy gets ready to kick it back...

Isaac: 'Mummy did you just trip over your own feet?'

Me: 'Yes. Yes I did.'